Day 12: Love Lets the Other Win

So I dont feel I completed this dare.Not yesterday anyway. I feel that I completed this about 2 weeks before I started the Love Dare. Tim & I usually have arguments over the same 3 things everytime it seems. At that time I just laid out all my feelings,thoughts,opinons and so on and he did the same thing. We both realized that we didnt take eachothers thoughts into consideration about these 2 particular items and we have now pledged to one another to be patient with one another about these situations and since this conversation we have not fought, argued or has a disagreement since that talk.
So my question now is did I complete the dare? I am not sure because it wasnt on day 12 in particular....but it was done before. hmmmm.....

Heather

Day 11: Love Cherishes

Yesterdays dare made me realize that I want to be like the older couples I see here at work that dont have to say a word to each other and look lovingly in each others eyes and know that they cherish each other and every minute they spend with each other. I see this type of senerio on a daily basis at work and I go home and tell Tim that I want to be that couple and he just smiles and nods his head, but he doesnt get it I dont think. Working at a retirement community, I have really changed my outlook on life and marriage and it really has opened my eyes and heart to what I want be when I get older. I know that Tims knows I cherish every minute I have with him and I know that he cherishes me too. I just want it to continue for all time.

Heather

Day 10: Love is Unconditional

Yesterdays dare was a little difficult for me, not because I didnt know how to show unconditional love to my husband, becuase I had to go about it a different way.I show & tell my husband everyday that I love him and he knows that I mean it. With the dares,so far, have been almost easy,which i will now have to knock on wood,because I do all these things already for not just my husband but for my step daughter as well. They both have no question of my love for them. Tim and I had an arguement a while back and asked him"do you love me? and do you want to be with me?" he looked at me like I was stupid for asking that question. I then replied, you dont show that you do and I need that. I told him I would do anything for him and JIllian. then I gave him a senerio, if someone was to walk through the front door and say "one of you will die today,who will it be?" without hesitation I would tell the intruder that it was going to be me. Tim seemed a little shocked by that and at that moment,I think he realized that I loved him far greater then he could imagine. I tend to get irrated about how I am the one who does the laundry, cooks dinner every night, cleans the house and the list goes on and on and on, and that he doesnt help. Then after reading the daily devotionals, I realize that just because he may not help out all the time but he works hard and puts a roof over our head and food in our mouths and that is all that I need and that shows his love and dedication to his family better then any housework. The devotions are making me really open my eyes and try to not only utilize them in my marriage but also in my everyday life with others as well.

Heather

Day 8: Love is not Jealous

So I forgot to post about this one, so now I am a little out of order on my blogs....OOPS....

So when Tim and I first started dating I was extremely jealous. We worked together and there were several girls who liked him and his personality was great. He is a flirter by nature, that is just the way he is and I will never be able to change that, I just have to accept it. We would argue about it all the time and then one day I finally told myself that I need to stop this nonsense and suck it up. I knew that he loved me and that I was who he wanted to be with, I just had to get over my insecurity. Now when he "flirts" with someone I just smile and think to myself, he will be at home with me tonight and he will be sleeping in our bed with me.

I support my husband in every activity or hobby or project that he does. I give him encouragement and ideas and my ear to listen when he needs to talk it out with someone. He is the same way, well maybe not the listening part. :) But if I am having a hard time with something, he encourages me to keep at it and I will eventually get it. I am so proud of his accomplishments.

i have come to realize that I do not need to worry about his negative attribbutes and just focus on the positive attributes. Ican not change him I just have to understatnd and acknowlege that these things are what make him who he is and I just have to look past them and keep moving forward and not take two steps back.


Heather

Day 9: Love Makes Good Impressions

Todays dare is going to be different for me,not hard though. I always greet Tim & Jillian everytime I see them. I will now just need to do it differently and I cant figure out how to do this. I am always so happy to see them!!! I love them both with all my heart. So now I just need to change it up a little more then I do and surprise them somehow....hmmmmm.......what to do.....????


Heather

Day 7: Love Believes the Best

So I just read the daily devotional and todays dare. I quickly jotted down some things and I have about 11 Positive and 4 Negative. It is hard to think of anything else negative about Tim. He is a great husband and father. I could add more to the positive but I will just stick with what I have. Now the Negative may only have 4, but those 4 are huge to me.
1. Procrastinates all the time
2. He is impatient with me and Jillian
3. Easily irratated/angred
4. Negative over Positive
We have talked about these before recently and he is doing alot better, I dont htink he was aware he was doing these things.

For example:Today we purchased exercise equipment, I was having issues with my side of the HEAVY box, I could tell he was gettign frustrated, but instead of him getting mad, he just took a deep breath and told me to switch sides with him. I was shocked and suprised at that.

I love my husband and I have tried to only look at the positive in him since we met, I may have said things to friends about what irritates me about him, but it is usually at that particular moment and dont really mean it.
I will continue to think positive towards hima dn everyone special in my life and stop thinking of the things that happened in the past.

The past is yesterday and tomorrow holds the future.

Heather

Day 6: Love is not Irritable

I just read todays devotion and dare. I will need a lil bit to think about this. I will blog once I have my list.

Heather

OK, so I have let todays devotion and dare sink in a little bit more. I do think that I can be a little irritable from time to time with my family, not intentionally,but that is no excuse. I am going to try to not let things get to me so much. I tend to carry alot on my shoulders without expressing what I am feeling and then I just expode at times for no reason at my family. I tend to also try to justify why I do or dont do things and then argue with my husband and throw stuff that he did or didnt do to make my ego/pride not feel like it had just received such a blow. I need to own up to what I have done wrong and admit it verbally,not just think it. I also need to be more patient with Jillian than I have been. She has a difficult life going from one house to the other and trying to remember what the rules are at each house and what she can or cant get away with. I have to remember that she is only 7 years old,sometimes I forget that.

I need to just take a few deep breaths and exhale and THINK about things before I say them and if I am having a rough day I need to communicate that instead of just blowing up at somethign that is so little or petty.

Breathe, just breathe.....

Heather

Day 5: Love is not Rude

This dare was at first I thought was going to be the one that was going to test myself. I can take criticism from anyone BUT my husband. I was so hesitant on doing this one, but I thought that if I gave up on this dare that I was giving up on having a good marriage. So I sucked it up and asked Tim bright and early in the morning to get it over with,not to mention I had class in the evening and knew we would both be tired by the time I got home.
When I asked him the question, he first said "is this a trick question?" then his next response was "There is none." I told him that I really wanted to know and would like for him to be honest.
then I took a big deep breath and kept telling myself, when he responds keep your mounth shout no matter what he says.

1. not active enough
2. Do thing just to do them not because I want to
3. have become a girly girl

exhale.... not so bad i asjked him to explain them a little more because I was a little confused.

1. I understood
2. as simple as when he says lets go to Outback for dinner I say OK instead of telling him I want to go to El Chico, just agreeing and doing what he wants.
3. this one made me laugh, his example was lst summer we went camping for the weekend, he said I complained the entire time that I was hot, I was dirty, that I wanted to go home. He was like this summer I will have to buy an RV so you wont be so grippy. I laughed again.

So It wasnt so bad after all.

Heather

Day 4: Love is Thoughtful

So today was a good one, I had new hire orientation, which keeps me pretty busy most of the day and he knows that. While I was showing a video to the new hires, I went to my office and called to ask if there was anyhting I could do for him and to tell him I was thinking about him. He said no but he had been thinking about me this morning. I could here it in his voice he was smiling. That made me smile too. :)

Bring it on Day 5!!

Heather

Day 3: Love is Not Selfish

I had to think ALL DAY about what I was going to do for today's dare,later in the day I thought of a conversation we had this morning and the Light Bulb went off in my head of what to do for him.This morning Tim made a comment that he is in a non-excercising rut and cant get out and asked that I help him get back into the gym, so on my way home from work I stopped by the store, picked up a fitness magazine and a box of the Goodstart chocolate powder mix for him to have for breakfast and picked up some sugar free redbull. He really appreciated it!

Heather

Day 2: Love is Kind

I didnt have a hard time on this one either, which is good because it gives me hope that we do have a strong marriage and I dont have to try too hard to show Tim that I love him.
Yesterday I made his lunch and slipped a note stating that i was thinking about him and wished him a good day and told him I loved him. I received a text message around 1 that read " Awww. I just got your note, I love you too!" That made my day and I couldnt stop smiling.
Lets see what day 3 holds.

Heather

Day One: Love is Patient

Today was a great day.I didnt really have to think to much about todays dare,which is good. There was a couple times I wanted to tell Tim to Shush, but it was only in a jokingly manner and he was cracking jokes about my height.
What a great start for this 40-day fast. Lets just pray that they will all be this easy.

Heather